


As loud as my Heart

by Soreidy_27



Category: The 100
Genre: Emotions, F/M, Love, Missing Scene, a lot of love, angsty, inner thoughts, struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 04:45:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15135401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soreidy_27/pseuds/Soreidy_27
Summary: Abby used the electrical collar on Raven.Marcus held a white flower as he walked with the enemy.What happened next?Missing scene from 5x08





	As loud as my Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This little fic was inspired by a fan art I saw on tumblr of Abby holding the flower with tears in her eyes. it was such an amazing fanart ( I don’t know the person who created the fanart) that gave me this idea of what happened next.  
> I hope you all enjoy my angsty roller coaster.

**_Nobody said it was easy_ **

**_It's such a shame for us to part_ **

**_Nobody said it was easy_ **

**_No one ever said it would be this hard_ **

**_Oh take me back to the start_ **

**The Scientists ~ Coldplay.**

 

Tears streamed down her face like a waterfall, even if she could gain the will to make it stop, she found herself not wanting to. She deserved this, she deserved to feel every bit of excruciating agony that rippled through her frail bones. How could she? How could she hurt someone that she loved like that? not with words like she would've done in the past if provoked but with a Goddamn electrical weapon created and used by the enemy. Abby found herself slipping further away from the woman she used to be, wanted to be, and she had absolutely no idea how to stop it, that’s a lie she did know but had convinced herself that she just wasn’t strong enough to deal with the aftermath of her actions, so she just let herself slip further away from the consequences. The distraught woman felt like her entire existence had been replaced with a cruel and drug dependent stranger and Abigail Griffin was forced to watch from the sidelines as that stranger that wears her face kept on destroying everything she loved. She lost everything, the still tear driven doctor realized, she lost her daughter again, she lost Raven after she deceived her in one of the most wounding of ways, she lost Marcus because she was not strong enough to be better. 

 

Abigail Griffin had lost. 

 

All these bleeding thoughts kept repeating in her head like a massive tornado, bringing forth a fresh pile of tears from her whisky eyes. Abby's head began to spin in imitation to the twisting thoughts punishing her further, the pain begin to pulse in her brain enough that she had to bring her head down to her knees as she slid further to the corner of the makeshift medical’s cold hard floor. Raven's screams kept echoing in her mind as the young woman shook in the lightning bolt like ripples that took over the young engineer's already aching body by the doctor's doing. Abby didn't even want to think about the Hippocrates oath that she had once again broken, was she even a doctor anymore? the quaking woman sure as hell didn't feel like much of anything anymore let alone a healer.

 

"Abby?" A raspy yet soft mixed with a bit hesitance voice cleared through Abby's mental wreckage, her aching heart instantly recognized that voice. It was already etched in every piece of the beating organ along with the myriad of emotions that always trailed behind it. After a few seconds past Abby was able to will herself to lift her head up enough to meet his eyes or she thought. Instead of locking her water filled brown orbs to soulful kind one as she expected, Abby took in a beautiful set of white petals that was connected together by a yellow cushion, a Daisy, being held by strong fingers that used to wrap around her waist and take away all her doubts and struggles for just a moment.

 

The gentle wonder of the little white bloom immediately had the power to bring her back to "earth class" sitting next to a shy boy with dark curls messily on his head and big brown eyes that even then had a way to pierce her soul. Abby remembered not being able to take her eyes away from the younger version of Marcus as he gave her the foreign entity, when her fingers touched the flower, her eyes danced from petal to petal. Marcus' slightly high toned voice rang in her ear as he explain that the little white flower represented honesty, purity and perfection. In that moment, in the back of that small classroom in space, Marcus had made Abby fall in love with daisies. And it was once again in a future that was coated in a heavy bleakness, staring down at her, the whiteness of the fragrant little flower making her realize once more what she was not anymore.

 

"What are you doing here?" Abby found herself asking, her voice falling small in the space between them as she closed her eyes once more feeling the pressure of the pain that resided in her head. The pain mixed in with the memories was not helping Abby's state at all, the still competent physician in her, knew.

 

"Why are you crying?" Marcus countered, his voice held so much love that tears renewed in Abby's eyes. The concern that she saw when her eyes finally locked with his brown orbs was something Abby thought she would never experience again. How can he still look at her that way? How could so much love be almost tangible as it poured from his heart to her cracking one? After everything she’s done, just the thought of still being privy to his affections was too much for Abby. She didn’t deserve this. Not the perfection of the flower. Not the love of this man. Not after everything she’s done.

 

“Ah. So many reasons Marcus.” Was all Abby could afford to say without shocking on her emotions. However, the tidal waves of her despair threatened to swallow her whole when her hypersensitive skin felt the flutter of Marcus’ gentle fingers attempt to wipe away her liquified emotions. Even though she knew the best thing for her to do was to pull away, save both of them more misery, Abby had forgotten what a good, righteous decision was. Following her streak of bad choices, Abby let her heart lead her actions like she knew she shouldn’t. Abby leaned into Marcus’ caresses because she was too selfish not to take advantage of his love once more.

 

In a matter of seconds his lips were on her quaking ones, Abby’s body reacted faster than her brain as she began to gently suck on his lower lip, feeling the scar that tattooed his struggles at the soldiers academy on the top of her tongue before she dived into the heavens of his kisses, of his touch. Abby couldn’t help her fingers from burying themselves in his luscious locks, her senses being instantly set to overdrive with the sensations of what Marcus Kane was able to reduce her to with just a few passionate kisses.

 

God! She never wanted to let go, Abigail wanted, craved to just stay in his arms forever. Being like this felt like before, the way he pulled her into his lap, the way he always found that little spot inside her mouth with his tongue, tickling her senses until she shivered. This, being completely engulfed in his loving arms, Abby had the pricking feeling of being back in Polis. Savoring the taste of each other without any regrets or addictions tainting their love. When Marcus brought his eager lips to her pulse point, her lustful eyes accidentally catching a glimpse of the little bloom that sat beside the lustful lovers, Abby felt like she could fix the whole world, and herself with just the power of Marcus’ devotion.

 

If only it could be that simple. 


End file.
